Skip to my Loo- 5 days and $200 dollars

Well it's obvious that the whole "Extreme Makeover" thing has  gone to my head or at the very least rattled my brain a bit since I got it in my head to redo this horror of a bathroom this week while Dr. Anarchy is out of town.

This started out as one of the those.. oh.. I will just do some paint and get some new towels sort of thing and  by tonight 10:30 Eastern it has become  "boy, go fetch me  my reciprocating saw" sort of project.

But for better or worse the room is now gutted with the exception of the loo, sink and shower. Since in some form or fashion I need to keep the bathroom " usable" for as long as possible given the number of people who live in the this house.  Now this is only really pathetic and sad funny when you  know that our house has 5.. yes 5 bathrooms and with this one out of order plus the 2 others that are not working right now that would leave us with only 2 working bathrooms.. shameful I tell you.

Alas  as I was pulling out the fugly short wall between the sink and the commode I noticed that the toilet bowl has a rather vicious crack down the side.. so while this crack has not made it's way through the whole bowl we have been obviously flirting with disaster for a while now so tomorrow means a trip to Lowes for a brand spanking new model.  I have to admit this gives me a small thrill since it means I can get another of the new smooth sided models that don't have icky intestinal curved sides that harbor all manor of ick no matter how often you clean!

I will NOT be considering that toilet in part of my redo budget since I would have to had to replace it anyway ( you can see why there was NO chance I would ever be an accountant)


Pulled out rotten short wall with unexplained vent to nowhere in it

Removed cheap towel bars from hell

Took out faux wainscotting that was held in place with either psychic force or 16 penny nails depending on the section - WTF?

2-1000 tubes worth of caulking has now been scraped

UGLY 3 panel medicine chest pulled down

Even uglier matching " hollywood" meets " Dolly Wood" style lighting began to fall but had to be propped up so there would be light in there to work by .. it is OUT OF THERE TOMORROW

Tomorrow.. PAINT!

and if you are begining to think I am a wee bit nuts... this ain't my first rodeo ...

How Extreme can I get?

Guess what is coming to Chattanooga?

Guess who might be doing some work for them?

Guess who is going to have to loose  20 pounds if she is going to have to be on TV?



Not that this is going to shock anyone but I have a wee problem with cords.. power cords, computer cords.. I hate them. I hate them like I hate broken blinds, they depress me.  This was a shock to my husband all those years ago when I could be found either shrieking at or going to great lengths to hide cords that just had to be part of our lives.  Today he is used to is and just goes with the flow when it come to my wee-itty-bitty cord phobia thingy.

Although I am sick ( insert the nasal, wheezy sorting noise that is my breathing right now) I am still making some progress on getting stuff organized around here. Today that meant the first part of the three part office/school room/ den move. This rearranging move is so complex and fettered with  obstacles that I think I could pull off a rocket launch with less hassle and yet I am doing it anyway in hopes of making things easier around here.

So today I moved my big desk with the help of my boys.  

In fact this is my desk sans the the suspicious looking jar on top ( on top of mine you will find rabid dust-bunnies!)  This desk is heavy,  and hard to move but my guys were great and got it moved to the new office and left me to fume over getting all the cords hooked back up and so well hidden that my office equipment appears to be run by pixie magic since you will NOT see a cord if I can help it.  And if I can't help it on occasion you can catch me painting them so that they at least blend in. ( Yes, I am aware that there might be a medication out there with my name on it, but spray paint is cheaper!)

So my cords are now labeled and tucked away thanks to those wonderful folks at the HomeImprovment site next to Ikea and the Container Store they have my heart and my wallet.

Now I need a nap!

Oh my Goodness!

Smack me silly, how cute are these????  They are called Cake-Pops and they make me squeal with delight! After a quick Google* I have found out that you can find all you need to know here

She also has a new book!..


But even better she lets you in on all sorts of wonderful  Cake-Pop secrets so you can be making them like a pro in no time.

* Seriously, what did we do before Google?

Homeschooling, it is still our thing...

Homeschooling is still what we are doing around here .. 
This week we are working on layers of the earth.
I ran into this cute little rap to help get the facts down pat!

There was no credit given.. but big thanks to whomever wrote it!



Throw your hands up for the layers of the earth

Throw ‘em up for what’s below the surface

Throw your hands up, and let’s discuss

The inner core, outer core, mantle, and crust

Verse I

The layer we’ll discuss first

Is the central inner core, in the center of the earth

A solid ball buried below the dirt

We believe it’s primarily metallic iron

You could never take a trip to the inner core, right?

The heat will burn you up, 9,000ยบ Fahrenheit

4,000 miles below the Earth’s crust

One down three to go y’all.

1,800 miles from the tip top

The outer core is hard at work and it don’t stop.

It’s busy spinning around the inner core, and listen,

This steady movement causes Earth’s magnetism.

Ranging from 4 to 9,000 degrees,

It contributes 1/5 of the heat flowin’ to you and me.

It’s liquid metals that violently flow

So let it settle… and when you’re ready let me know. Just…


Verse II

The mantle layer is the largest of the class.

About half of our planet’s mass.

The mantle is composed of very hot dense rocks,

That move and flow, always on the go, they never lock,

Never stop, and they’re responsible for tectonic shift

Please believe the Earth’s plates are adrift

It’s pretty thick and the heat is awesome

1,600 at the top, 4,000 at the bottom

The continental crust’s surface is where we breathe

A lot of rock up to 25 miles deep.

The oceanic crust is next door

It’s 3-5 miles thick just below the ocean floor.

Earth’s surface: 70% H20.

Where do you get all that water? Salty sea flow,

fresh water’s in the glaciers, ice caps, and snow.

Hello mid-40's!

Yes it is official I am traipsing through my mid-40's as of today.  And you know what?.. besides the total bummer of gray hair and pimples ( WHAT is up with that?) I am really enjoying this time.  And generally I am holding up a lot better this decade than the last as pointed out by my dear oldest son ( thanks!)

I am excited about my work, passionate about my marriage, having fun doing my home and lucky enough to have the advantage to be able to be home to homeschool my children. I am not sure I could ever or should ever ask for more!  ( Yes some days suck, but over all my blessings are abundant!)

Taking the time to care for myself has been important, since much like that popular little air-flight axiom "please secure your own air mask first before attempting to help another",    if I don't feel good about myself it is next to impossible to give my best to others. 

To that end my totally selfish list of things I do for me!

Buy clothes that are at least as nice if not better than what I dress my children in.
Motherhood is not an excuse to look like crap even if you are still holding onto "baby weight" you put on 21 years ago!, I 'm just say'n

New bras and panties every 6 months
Good support and nice danties make a difference, make the time to get a bra fitting!

Use real grown-up shampoo - not the kids stuff that comes in a bottle that looks like a squid
Good hair = Good Day, nuf' said

Do my hair - too many quality hair products not to have great hair
Pulling my hair back into a rubber band does not count unless done with purpose, not as a last ditch effort!

No chippy toe nail polish -  if you can't keep it up don't do it!
Nothing more depressing than chippy polish, except maybe broken mini blinds.. such a toss up in my book!

Nice sheets for my bed-  such great prices at Tj Maxx!
happy sleep

Shoes that make me happy - Hello DSW!
cute shoes  make even a crappy day better

Make time with my husband every day or as often as possible ( uhhh yeh you know what I mean)
oh yeh!

Crafting or sewing time each day, or at least time to create a Zentangle
you knew I was going to say this one didn't you?

Oh yeh.. and wear dresses! ( more on that later)

That is my list off the top of my head... what would you add to it??

Oh Vanity

Please note... these are the WRONG color bobby pins.. they flash in my hair and you can see them. I had to go back and change them after i noticed them glaring big and bold in this shot of my hair today. Being new to the world of bobby-pin I just found out a few days ago that they come in various hair colors when bought at larger drugstores and beauty supply places.  If you too want to pin up  your hair and have to have a few pins that peek out.. makes sure to get pins that are  a good match. 
If you have to choose go a bit darker not lighter.

You now have your useless fact of the day... carry on!

Everyone Loves Snow Cream

It is a snow-day here in wonderful Chattanooga TN.  The outside world has ground to a hault and the heavens have blessed with with a free crafting and sewing day!
 In honor  of the blanket of white I am calling my newest quilt
(yep, was called Shine Bright while under contruction but no more.. now it's SnowCream)

SnowCream is an original composition based on the techniques of Gwen Marsden's Liberated Quilting philosophy. I used various prints from my stash and some from my scrap bin. The border fabric is also a stash dive and part of my pledge to use up the bolts of fabric that I bought at this years Sew Bee It bolt sale. The white is some WONDERFUL white linen from the same store. It was a bit of a bear to work with but I think it will pay off big in the end.  

I did NO measuring on this quilt as well as no use of rulers. This was truly an organic quilting endeavor and I LOVED it.  I know the whole idea of not measuring to the point of making your eyes cross is enough to make some quilters get a nervous tick. Honestly it is SO freeing to just look, cut, sew and see what you get.. not sure I am ever going to crawl back into the "by the lines" box.  But that is the best part about quilting today, there is room for everyone at the cutting table! 

All things old are new again...

Oh my stars and garters!.. my obsession with vintage clothing and hair styles seems to have little end these days. 

Evidence- favorite hair of the week

 I see it creeping into my pattern sewing and have been haunting places that do reproductions of  1930-1940's clothing since true vintage patterns rarely fit today's body. ( this is polite code for.. I am too fluffy!)

Today I came upon this sweet company

and this photos.... swoon the hair... swoon the coat!

I will do the hair right away and file the coat away for next Fall since it seems I have had a bit of an obsession with coats and jackets of late.. counted 12.. and stopped counting.. I am sure there are more.. yep, addicted. There is a 12 step program somewhere with my name on it!

Covering my Assets

Sometimes  I just need to sew. In the same way someone might *need* a cup of coffee or a smoke, I need to sew. This can sometimes mean my projects are a bit slapdash or 1/2 @ssed and at times they don't even work but often it is more about the process than the product. Luckily this time I got the whole process/product reward ( fist bump to me!)

This was a rather effective but decidedly dowdy Franklin Planner spiral bound calendar ( from Target). Effective for sure but nothing to write home about.  Since I am ALL about the pretty I figured that I could vent my sewing ya-ya's by making a cover.

Of course I had to obsess about which fabric to use since I would have to look at it for a whole year, which of course was TOTALLY ridiculous since I could make a new cover at any time.. and yet that is where my head goes... straight to crazy town. I could practically be the mayor, just sayn'.

In the end I just grabbed a charm pack that I think is MoMo, It's a Hoot but it did not have a band on it so feel free to correct me if you recognize it.

I took some photos while doing it but would be hard pressed to call them a tutorial but will post them up tomorrow soon as I get a chance. In the end what really counts is that each time I see it I smile.. you can't ask for much more than that from a spur of the moment, half @ssed project can  you ?

I'm Maddie, and I sew.


Happy New Year!

It will never come again and seems as good a time as any for a fresh start.

As many of you know I all but abandoned this blog with the birth of my Fresh Thread site and subsequent birth of the LongArm Virgin site. This splitting of self seemed called for at that time but has become wildly impractical to say the least.

 The reasons for splitting the blogs and content had to do with how some people were upset when my life did not fit into their tidy little reality of what life should look like for a homeschooling, sewing, embroidering mom. The occasional mention of pole dancing  exercise,  and  lusty love, pin ups and furniture refinshing being mixed in with how to best embroider on linen was just to much for some and sent waves of protest my way. And as opposed to having some sort of back bone I caved to those closed minded but open jawed sort  revamped my blog life.

But here is the fact.. I homeschool my kids, I love 1940's pin up style, I work on my big old house, I love to sew, to quilt and this year it is my desire to learn to pole dance.. if that sets your eyeballs to popping then this might not be the blog for you. But if you are a sassy sewist, a hip mama or even a knitting pole dancer you might have found the right place. My life is my work  and my work is my life.. I invite you to join me for my adventure.

Please stop by often for fabric give-aways, quilting wisdom, household projects and reviews on the best  hooker shoes to dance in - actually just kidding about the shoes but thought I would test your tolerance.

I will be importing content from my other blogs as I shut them down.. so watch for that and lots of new content posted 2 times a week.