Reading is Sexy - Just My Opinion

Dear incredibly obnoxious lady at Barnes & Nobel,

Yes you! You who complained loudly and bitterly to the long suffering B&N sales person that you had to buy books for your teen daughter to read over Summer as an obligation for her next school year. You who complained about how much it was going to cost to buy those two trade print paperbacks while you shifted your mall bags from arm to arm to redistribute your "Hot Topic" haul of tube tops and short-shorts.

You who rubbed your brain cells into a frenzy at the idea that your daughter had to read  TWO WHOLE BOOKS this Summer and bemoaned that  there as no way she would have time. Not only that, you  then popped off with your sage and obviously well researched opinion that " boys don't like smart girls"  followed by the life qualifier "I don't read ~nothin~ and I have had three husbands - so far"  At which point I barked out a spontaneous laugh so loud and so wrong that you looked around, glared at me and my stack of books and magazines, turned on your bedazzled flip-flop and left.

If I could say one thing to you ( I promise I would do it slow and clear)  I would say that reading is the sexiest thing a person can do. To load your brain with new ideas, places, characters is the ultimate in brain candy. It makes your conversations sparkle and it makes you interesting. It means that smart well read men will find you  attractive and good for more than just a roll in the hay with no call the next day.  Being well read is still the best way to better yourself that can actually be free. The library is open to everyone, heck even Barnes and Nobel will let you sit your butt there all day every day and read each and every book they have without paying a dime.  Maybe, just maybe with enough good books your daughter will swim against the tide and work her way to the other end of the gene-pool since right now lady you are totally wadding in the shallow end and that is not good for anyone!  But that is just my opinion.

p.s. This woman reminded me SOOOOO much of the "mother" character from the movie Matilda that it was almost to good to be true..  do you know the character I mean??

So tell me... what are you reading this Summer?


Erin said...

she did NOT!! Wow.

What am I reading? Who knows? I am always in the middle of at least 3 books.

Tara said...

I almost peed my pants reading your post. It was absolutely hilarious. My favorite thing to buy my kids is books. My daughter is in 1st grade & reads at a 4th grade level. I love to read & I am in a book club. I am glad my loves of books has been passed on to my kids.

Robyn of Coffee and Cotton said...

Oh my stars and garters!! I wish you were making this up but sadly I have seen that ignorant...female...before. Sad. Sad for the daughter. Sad that this mentality even still exists. Sad for those that fought to be heard. Reading IS sexy and to give the gift of reading to another is to give them the world!
What am I reading? Well part of my list {because I like to read more than one book at a time}
"Falling Upward" by Richard Rohr, "This Thing of Darkness" by Harry Thompson, "The Immortal Life of Henrietta Lacks"by Rebecca Skloot, "Moonwalking With Einstein", "Larkrise to Candleford", "Fall of Giants" by Ken Follett...there's more but maybe I should save it for my blog :p

silentgeneration said...

Currently reading the Autobiography of Mohandas Ghandhi, Life on the Mississippi by Samuel
Clemens, three novellas by Herman Hesse, a translation of the Baghavad Gita, and just finished The Way We Live Now by Trollope.

Gene Black said...

What am I reading this summer? Hmmm. I read two books just on the way to the beach. (Lucky me, I got to ride and didn't have to drive.) I have a virtual stack of books on my Kindle for iPod Touch. I am thinking of adding Paradise Lost after a conversation with a couple of well read young ladies.
Okay, so I sidetracked while writing this and added Paradise Lost and Uncle Vanya (Checkov) to my reading list.

Tonja said...

I have a stack to get thru, as always. trying to stay on top of what the kids are reading as well so mine falls by the wayside. did just finish "Flat Stanley's Mexican Adventure" tho! ;)

fairyrocks said...

too was she saying that 3 husbands means she was too smart??? LOL
You are too funny. I sure hope her DD becomes a book junky!!!
I am currently working my way through about 4 books (I get bored and when I get near the end I have to have another started so I don't loose sleep over the endings) Yeh, book junky here. Usually just read fiction to fall asleep. Reading the newest Jean M. Auel. Read all Dianne Gabaldon's books. The Brotherhood series. If I am reading a serious or brain book has to be during daylight hours.

suzi yee said...

Oh, this was so delicious to read! I pictured everything in my head that you described. And I love Matilda.....what a great movie! I'm new to your blog and you made my day! And LOVE the Reading Is Sexy pic.

suzi yee said...

Oops...forgot to tell you what I'm reading this summer! Hubs bought me for my birthday, "A Discovery of Witches" by Deborah Harkness. Never to read one book at a time, I'm also reading "The Lady and the Unicorn" by Tracy Chevalier (wrote Girl With A Pearl Earring).

Pia said...

Seriously? that really happened? I guess I just take for granted that people behave themselves and in general try their best not to look STUPID. If it wasn't so sad, I'd be laughing. Which i did while reading your post- what can I say? I'm mean.
I can honestly say I have never personally been confronted with that level of in your face stupidity and crassness- proud of you for not dragging her by her undoubtably shellacked hair into the classics section, or maybe even the early readers section, and force her to read. :)
I grew up in a house of book lovers. My dad traveled a good bit, so when he would sit and read with me it was a very special time and I have just always loved reading. I love almost all types of books, except sci-fi, and would be happy to read, read, read all day long.But I've learned the hard way I cant do that when i get free time or i spend the next day making up housework that should have been done the day before.
It's strange to me that its been a while since I have sat down and read a book. I think the last one I read was Sarahs secret, or something like that. It was a great story about a little girl set in WWII- but since then my reading has been blogs. sad, but true. I would love to get some summer reading ideas, too! I'll keep checking the comments here to get some ideas.... great post, thank you for the laugh and the potential of new books to read about
happy reading,

Audrey Pettit said...

LOL! I can picture her now! What a character! But she must be all that to have snagged 3 husbands so far. :)
I, for one, love to read. Read all the time. Lately, I've been working my way through the classics again.