From Small Acorns.....



Sturdy Oaks do grow... but ....

I am the mother of one darling daughter and 5 wonderful young men, so while my girl is totally wonderful I tend to think of myself as more of a " mom of boys" due to the 5:1 ratio. This" mom of boys" thing means my ears are tuned to the way society mentors young men and you know what ... over all I can't say that I will be giving out any passing grades on this matter any time too soon.

And before you think I am going to be picking on the men... think again.. This one is for those ladies out there who can't seem to find a nice thing to say about their husbands or boyfriends and spend a considerable amounto f their time letting people know it. The one's who talk about what a sloppy, no good  guy he is while  also talking about how you they sneaking yet another bag of fabric ( clothes, homes shopping channel) into the house apparently  in the name of getting themselves a guest shot on ~Hoarders~

Just this week  I was at the fabric store with Son13, as we stood in line with our bolts of fabric along with 6 women and one older gentleman. The ladies began with the usual sewing store line chit-chat that quite quickly turned into from innocent project one-upsmanship to a rather nasty round of male/husband bashing that made me, my son and the gentleman waiting extremely uncomfortable to say the least.  Next time you are out take some time to listen to the conversations around you, what are you hearing?  Do you hear women talking about their hardworking husbands? Or many dare I say it, a compliment about them or to them?

  When did it become socially acceptable to verbally trash the person have committed your life to in the name of female bonding? If he is really that bad get out of the marriage for goodness sake!

The young boys in our lives hear what is being said,what do you hear?



6 comments:

Brenda Cregger said...

I really really really hate men and/or women bashing. I agree with you! I think much of the movies and stories affect peoples lives. Garbage in garbage out. We can try to surround ourselves with positive, creative and loving people and then we are in line waiting..... Say words of God to yourself you block out the negative. Thanks for the post.

Rhissanna said...

This is an issue that really bothers me. If women talked about the other women in their life this way, there's be protests and outcry. But it's all right to dismiss men as if they were another species; a kind of tool-using ape we have to endure. It seems to be perfectly acceptable, to some women, to load men up with chores in their free time, to denigrate what they do and to belittle their pursuits. It makes me angry and it's not a conversation I'm happy to join. (I tend to vent, as you can see) There seems to be little understanding that it's not an acceptable way to talk about people, especially, as you point out, the men in question are the men they claim to love. We've educated men into not talking this way, why haven't some of us learned the same lesson?

Thank you for bringing this up.

Vivienne @ the V Spot said...

Messed. Up.
I have friends that are now just acquaintances because they were toxic with regard to the treatment of their husbands. Good post.

Grammy Goodwill said...

My husband and I talk about how much of this is on tv. Men/fathers are usually denigrated.

Darlene said...

Im with you about this issue. I am mum of 3 with a girl in middle. It is always hard for me to go about with three kids when I know they'd be listening in and learning about the community they live in both negative and positive. Your example is the best one. I noticed ladies at shops tend to be so nice to my elder son and generally ignored my daughter. This is not on just because of their gender. We were in a gifts shop once and I was complimented by the owner there that my kids are so lovely, well behaved and guess what kids heard this and they realised it's good thing to be said about. My kids are slowly filtering things and check with me what's with this or that issue.
Be careful of what you're saying out there - there are always others who could be listening in. Be what you are saying you are, not just doing it.
Cheers!

Carolyn said...

You are fantastic! I have a small group of female friends and when my husband asked me why I don't join the Friday Evening Sewing group that they all attend I explained that I don't enjoy hearing the women complain about the men in their lives. Besides I'd prefer to spend time with him...
His response...a hug and a dinner for two at a great restaurant.