Sex Education Starts at Home- Here is Some Help

Wicked Wednesday
Celebrating Being a Sexual Mama Between Loads of Laundry
{ A Distinctly Differnt part of Domestic Anarchy}

Ah the ~birds and bees~.. " the TALK"..  just the idea strikes fear in the hearts of many parents leading into mumbled conversations referring to flowers and bees and "pollination", or worse yet leaving the whole subject up to the school system and it's politically-correct, not going to offend anyone presentation of the "facts" as they think your child should know them.

Well screw that.. pardon the pun. By the time your child's 5th grade class gets around to talking about periods and wet-dreams there is a pretty good chance your child has already seen porn via internet, copped a feel or been copped, or at the very least has been given some VERY sketchy information via their well meaning but equally mis-informed friends.

Sex-education is a life long process, from the day you give them the correct body part names up to the day and beyond when you talk to them about date rape, sex toys and staying safe both physically and emotionally in the context of a sexual relationship. It is not one talk, it is a conversation that spans the years.

I am going to go so far as to stay that you should not even teach about the "birds and the bees" as much as you should teach about the Dolphins and the Bonobos ( like a small chimp).  You see birds and bees procreate for one purpose, to make more babies, but Dolphins and Bonobos are unique, they are like us, they like to and want to get it on when and where they are able. Mind you they don't have a pending tax bill and  a lack of sleep getting in their way so this makes things easier for them.. but otherwise they are very much like us all the same.

Sex is fun and telling your kids so is not a sin.  Be clear, I do think there are very good reasons not to have sex with another person before you are ready, just like I don't think you should be playing with a gun without knowledge/lessons .. in both cases you never know "where that thing will go off!"

Now I am not saying that your third grader needs to knows the particulars of your personal sex life.. hell I don't think anybody does I am just saying that sex goes way beyond the talk about where babies come from and you owe your kids the whole story ( lube and all) at the right time(s).

Luckily there are some great factual books and sites to help you get past the lump in your throat and terror in your heart when it comes to this matter. (click on book for expanded links and reviews)

 For the younger set 4 and up-

It's Not the Stork, is part of a growing series of books that take a factual but easy to digest lighthearted approach to a serious subject making it fun to share with your child. The images are cartoon like but anatomically correct without over load. This book is great for sharing both about body parts, and how babies are made (sex) but from a broader look than most books of this nature delve into.

If you are just needing a book on how babies grow inside of a mommy and how they get out (and a bit on how they get in) I would suggest 

In the same style It's so Amazing tackles the topic of babies in a not-so scary way that like  it's sister books uses cartoon style drawings that are factual but not freaky to talk about the miracle of birth. I do suggest this book and It's not the Stork be bought together for the most comprehensive education for your young child ( yes even if they say ewwwwwww)

Moving right along, by the time your child is in third grade It's Perfectly Normal is the book you need to be cracking open, leaving in the bathroom or  actively sharing with your child. Covering topics from menstruation to masturbation this book leaves no stone unturned but does so in such a sweet natural way that it makes topics that seemed untouchable a more accessible part of your child's sex education.

Yes this book talks about homosexuality, and sex with disability, and a whole bunch of other things that are making you cringe right now ..but you know what.. your kid knows these things, or more to the point knows half truths about these things. Start by getting the facts straight and then talk to your child about your personal or religious beliefs. These topics will not go away just because you are not talking about them I can promise you that. 

Are you still with me?... if so..  lets jump up to the world of teens and sexuality. It is a hormone driven wild ride that only frank education will make safer and saner since here is the deal.. you mom ( or dad) are not invited for the trip so the best you can do is help them pack the right information for the journey.

I have posted this link so many times should be some sort of referral fee.. but the opposite is true, I support Scarleten with my dollars since I think they do a superb job of putting out factual information for the teen with a sex question. Send your kid this link. Read here for yourself.. sit shocked that teens are writing in to ask if it's safe to have anal sex, how to know if they have had an orgasm and more.. real teens, real questions.. best of all real answers.

Better yet ( and with!)  They have a book.. a great book -S.E.X.   I would buy this book for every person I know with a teen. This book is for boys and girls, Dolphins and Bonobos. It will shock you.. it will teach you and it will help your teen be safe and healthy and happy as a growing young person deciding when and if they will have sex. 

You see withholding information will not keep your teen from having sex, it will just make it all the more likely that it will be a damaging or dangerous experience.. not what we want for any of our children is it. 

Please note that the links and photos route you through my Amazon store. I appreciate when you order with my links they enable me to continue to bring you top notch content and not take up some sucky job flipping burgers for a living :)

Handmade Christmas Ornaments- A Tutorial

Most of our extend family celebrates Christmas so we like to join in the fun by making them meaningful gifts of the season as a family project. This year as I had mentioned before we are doing our best of have a crap free holiday but not at the expense of losing traditions that are dear to us.

Making and selecting ornaments each year is a big part of the joy for my kids so this year on Thanksgiving we took some time to make ornaments for the Aunts and Uncles, with an eye to me getting them into the mail early so they can be enjoyed on THIS year.

This is a fantastic project to do with both the young and the young at heart. You will need:

Plastic or glass ornaments that open at the top ( not the split open variety)
Craft paint- feel free to control the color selection as you see fit. Old paint works great for this since you are going to need to water it down a bit so it flows really well for a good marbeling effect.

Important enough to say again - Make sure all the paint you are going to use flows free. Some of mine was OLD.. so I put in a bit of hot water and shook them up to get a nice smooth flow, like that of heavy cream. Cover your work surface with a drop cloth ( I did not and had to scrub the table before we put the food out!)

Take the little silver caps off all the ornaments and then start adding paint.

 Swirl in the color not putting in so much that it covers all the inside. You want room for 3-5 colors.

This is my handsome oldest son who came home for the holiday, giving it a go.. poor thing I have been forcing  encouraging him to do crafts every holiday since the dawn of time, he is very patient with me :)

It was not my best planning that I set them up in the formal dinning room just an hour before dinner but what they hey.. to have all my guys there crafting with me was SO worth it. 

Sam took the relaxed approach, good thing that craft paint comes off of gold velvet pretty well.

Greg was careful and studious as always mixing his colors for the perfect balance that pleased his engineer self..  Did I also mention that the sun was shining through my french windows in a blinding way?? ..  I love the afternoon light in this room but wow it made it hard to take photos.

We missed having this beauty with us, but she was celebrating the first half of T-day with her boyfriend's family but did catch up with us in time to have some Turkey and a bit of pie!

 Ok.. back to work - After everyone was thrilled with their swirl of colors we took the ornaments over the trash and shook out the extra paint. Then wiped away smudges on the outside and let them sit to dry. After that it was easy to pop back on the little silver caps and be done!

I will add ribbons and hang tags this week and out they will go with all of our love to family far away.

The shiny nature of the plastic or the glass makes any paint look fantastic, so feel free to give it a try with whatever you might have!

Now it is your turn to share.. Do you make ornaments as part of your tradition, if so tell us about them!

4 Square Gift Basket - Crap Free Christmas

You need: A gym floor with 4 squares ...or mark out your own court with chalk
  1. The player in square 4 serves the ball by bouncing it in his square and tapping the ball into another square. 
  2. The player in that space must tap the ball (after one bounce) into another kid's area, and so on, until someone misses the ball, lets the ball bounce twice, or sends it out of the grid. 
  3. The player who misses the ball steps out and the remaining players rotate up through the numbered squares. 
  4. If you are playing with more than four players, a new player enters the game at square 1. 
  5. The player who is out waits in line to re-enter the game once square 1 is open again.
 Whoever is now in square 4 serves the ball to resume play.

4 square is one of those games of my childhood that is making a big resurgence as only an underground movement can do. It is sort of the Occupy Wall Street of the outdoor games movement, but with more showering and rubber balls. Some kids know it and love it and others have never heard of it. Making a 4-square gift kit is a great way to pass on this terrific sport and get kids away from the TV and outside into the fresh air.
For full rules and videos I suggest looking here at the national Foursquare site since there are a lot of rather bogus videos out there with some.. ~creative~ rules usage.  In some ways this is sort of regional but best to start with the real deal before going all "fish in the toilet" ( that will make sense when you learn more about 4 square :)

To make a FourSquare gift kit you will need the following -

1 rubber school yard ball of about 8.5 inches in diameter - check your local school supply stores. You want the rubber type, not the plastic type which weigh less and don't bounce well. ($8)

1 tape measure to lay out a 4 square  court grid. ( $1 Dollar Store)

Side walk chalk - for marking and numbering the grid ( $1 Dollar Store)

Portable ball pump - nothing worse than a flat ball to ruin a good pick up game at the park! ( $6 sports store)

Duffle bag or basket to hold the supplies and tote them to the park

Rule card - I have made one for you.. get it laminated and then hole punch it and tie it to the gift for easy reference.  Download it here

I think this gift has potential to make a lot of kids really happy and bring back a lot of memories for some who are older so watch out.. you might need to make two kits.. 1 for the adults and 1 for the kids!

Holiday Weekend

A quiet post holiday weekend.
 I hope you are also spending it with the ones you love.

Lot's of fun and thought coming up in the new week I hope you will be joining me for the adventure!

Black Friday Blogs I Love

So it's Black Friday, and I am home, I am working and I am NOT out battling the madness that is this day. So if you happen to be home too ( high-five for being sane!) I thought you might enjoy a bit of  a blog tour through just a couple of my new favorite ways to use my time on a lazy after holiday-I-am-so-full-of-turkey sort of day.

So..  I want you to meet Chloe, she is a want-to-be brazen woman  ( honestly I think she has this one nailed) with a fantastic blog that she is now nurturing on a regular basis much to my delight- She is The Chloe Chronicles. Sometime so funny that I cry with mirth, others so real that her truth is universal.. I think you will like her ( that is if you don't hate the hell out of her for looking so good in those jeans!)

Oh the eye-candy, the sweet, the happy... bliss. A Spoonful of Sugar makes me happy on even the most blah sort of day.. and how MUCH do I love that it is run by a mother-daughter team?   Check out the post of what you can do with last year's holiday cards to make the the cutest part of this year!

Looking for a reassuring  voice on raising  happy well adjusted kids from an expert on the matter?.. then you want to visit AskDocG  From raising 4 boys of her own and running a medical practice she has become adept at answering awkward questions and making it look easy.. I also follow her on twitter and FB , you do the same ok?

For my modern quilting friends it does not get better than this.... Oh the color, the fun and the style. Every time I visit Cluck Cluck Sew I want to race to my local quilting shop and then home to my machine.. I am sure if you love modern quilting you will love it too!

Happy blog touring, now go make a turkey sandwich {wink}

Grateful Gobbler Goodness

Possibly one of the best photos ever of the two of us

It was a fantastic morning at the Grateful Gobbler Walk here in Chattanooga. A clear cold morning, hard rock  music and 600 of our best friends made it a fun walk for local charities before heading home to put the bird in the oven and then relax ( fixed the rest of the food yesterday!)

Tomorrow on the blog I am featuring some of my favorite blogs as an alternative to being part of Black Friday and then this weekend I will show off a family friendly craft you can do on this lazy holiday weekend.

Later next week I will have a very special guest blogger.. my son Sam!

Things gear up after that and we launch into the holiday season. Around here it is going to be holiday-lite. A pressure free zone where it's not all wrapped in tinsel and glitter, some thinking towards the new year ahead, getting the house in order and dare I say it.. scaling back instead of adding more??

Yes, but without a grinchy moment.. more about fresh starts, new directions and always.. Thankfulness.

As always.. love from Doc &

Happy Thanksgiving/Thursday!

To all of my readers who  may or may not celebrate this day as one of gathering and family. Looking past the somewhat skewed history of the day with it's funny looking hats, big buckled shoes and controvesy. I want you to know that I give thanks that you come visit me here in Anarchy and wish you a very happy holiday ( or a very happy Thursday.. take your pick!)

Happy Thanksgiving/Thursday!

Giving Your Desire a Kick Start - Best Books on Sex

Wicked Wednesday
Celebrating Being a Sexual Mama Between Loads of Laundry
{ A Distinctly Differnt part of Domestic Anarchy}

How long has it been since you surprised the hell out of your husband and initiated sex? Not acquiesced to his begging, not grudgingly agreed or at the very worst agreed that he could have his way but you were going to try to get some sleep? ( Don't say you don't know what I mean) - When is that last time you knocked him over, took his breath away and  left him not knowing which way was up?

If you have to count the days on two hands you might be in trouble, if you are now taking off your shoes to count toes or more we need to talk.  You see it's not that I don't understand, I just combat it as actively as possible- a hormonal war to win for the sake of my marriage if you will.

I know you love your man ( if you don't we need to have a different type of talk).. you love him, at one point he made you so hot that you thought you would go out of your mind if you were not able to get it on with him.. so what changed?

Well, a lot. We had kids, we go older, we got busier and our hormones are shifting. Luckily this is not the be all end all that is sounds like and can look like.  This is not a problem for everyone, but  to quote a mom who shall be nameless and blameless "My husband wants sex 4 times a week, I would be happy with 4 times a month, where did the horny me go?"  Better yet, how do we get her back?. Yes get her back.. she was fun, she was hot, was was spontaneous and she lead her man around like a puppy with just a glance. Now he is more worried that a look from you means that you want him to take out the trash.. not good!

How to find Your Lost Naughty Girl

Find her in a book - Books on sex range from the clinically boring to the obscure and freaky and I will admit that trying to find time to browse the shelf at you local book store can be hard when your kid wants nothing more than to play with the Thomas the Tank Engine Table and it seems wrong to bring the Modern Karma Sutra into the kids section. So with that in mind I give you my top picks via my Amazon shop ( you can also try your local library). Not that anyone would be surprised but my collection is sort of extensive in this genre so this is what I like and for what reason. 

( Full disclosure - each photo is an Amazon Affiliate link through my storefront, but also links to other reviews of the books I am suggesting, proceed as the adult you are.)

Deep in your baby years? 

Love in a Time of Colic 
This book rocks, the straight scoop on the changes for both of you that happen when baby makes three (or more).  I think this one is even better to read before so you will know what to expect, but still a ton of fun and inspiration after the fact.  Think of this as a great baby shower gift- in the right circles!

Confessions of a Naughty Mommy
Along the same lines but maybe a bit farther down the track, this books helps you get a handle on where your groove went and how to coax it back and why that is really important for your marriage!

Past the baby stage and trying to remember how to strut your stuff? ( yep at one point I totally forgot how.. painful  stuff that)...  I LOVE this book.. it is actually quite a serious look at how to find your sexual self through sexual expression. Carol Queen is a top notch writer and this book has gotten top marks from me for years now 

Exhibitionism for the Shy

Best Women's Erotica

Sometimes lighting a mental fire is all it takes to stoke up your own passion and just about anything that Violet Blue edits is going to do that. This book is an anthology of fantastic erotica writers who come together each year with their best offerings. Not everything will light everyone's fire, but it is one smoking hot book that is for sure.

She Comes First

And last but not least a little something to tuck on his side of the bed after you read it first.. and you will want to since  it is written in a way that that makes the most subject at hand. I really like the tone used in this book and that it was written by a guy for guys.. priceless.. totally a great read.

That should get you started... more next Wednesday!

Graphics Fairy for the Retro Steampunk Baby

I think we are all pretty clear about how I feel about most of the t-shirts on the market for little/young boys.. they make my blood boil. They are stupid or insulting or tacky and I refuse to let my boys wear them ( lucky for me they also do not like them)  But no little boy can live forever in a button down and khakis so t-shirts are a must sometimes. So over the course of the past year I have been creating Geek-smart-shirts for my smart young men and offering up the printable files for you to use at home.

I have made extensive use of Graphics Fairy images for these shirts and my boys get a lot of very positive comments on them. The Geek Shall Inherit the Earth   Main Men  More Geek Wear 

Today I tread into the world of baby wear. Not because it is so heinous, in fact for the most part baby wear is cute, but it's a bit expected, bears for boys, pink for girls. Very sweet but not a lot out there for the parents with a more hip and retro spirit.

Once again the GF came to my rescue with her newest upload of adorable and rather steampunk-alicious little ride toy images which were PERFECT for this project. ( Sometimes I think she reads my mind.. weird huh?)

 As usual I have edited and tweaked the files for printing and have already flipped the image and have set it on page with two sizes. One for smaller baby onsies and another a bit larger for a young toddler.

I also offer you this transferring hint.  When using Artist Transfer Paper ( the only product I recommend) trim up to the design but not so close that you compromise the image during ironing. Leave a little buffer space for best adhesion to your project.

Ready to make a cute project?.. sure you are! You can get the file here This is my Ride Transfer . If you can't get the file to download drop me a note and I will send it to you via email!

Please also consider signing up for my blog via-email ( top right of page) that way you will never miss a freebie!