It is never too late to put your marriage first.
Well over 10 years ago I read an article in Redbook magazine that suggested that one of the keys to a very happy marriage was having sex every night. (Which by the way was the advice of a 85 year old woman who had been married longer than I have been alive!) Given that I was reading this while laying on the exam table in the O.B.'s office very-very pregnant with our 6th child it gave me a chuckle and made the O.B. blush when I read it to him. Never-the-less the sex advice stuck with me and putting my marriage and marriage bed first has been a really important part of my bond with my darling man.
The author of the article (now long gone it seems, I have searched high and low for it online) went on to say how a 30 days of sex challenge was the jump-start her marriage was begging for and how other issues that had once been weighing so hard (sorry) and heavy on her marriage started to become mere blips on the radar of life. The flat out fact was that her "ok-nice husband" became the man of her dreams with just a few uncoaxed and unbegged for rolls in the hay. What it took was HER being the one to initiate sex.
As I remember she said her secret plan went something like this.. Night 1 he was thrilled and speechless, night 2 suspicious and grateful, night 3 he acted like some one had just given him a new golf cart and night 4 he got up and walked their teething baby for 3 hours letting his wife sleep and then he made her breakfast and took out the garbage without being asked.... and on it went.. She fell in lust with her husband again and he remembered the hot woman he had married.
Now don't get me wrong.. great sex even freely given will not solve serious problems but there is no doubt that daily sex and affection help smooth over a lot of the bumps and scrapes of marriage. Men want and need to be adored just as much as women want to these things.
The evidence is not just anecdotal, science is even on the side of regular sex showing that men who have sex on a regular basis live longer and have healthier lives ( they also deal with workplace stress better!). Women gain numerous benefits including surges in crucial hormones that keep us younger feeling and sexy. There are no downsides* to good sex.
I mean really.. not exactly brain surgery here.. after sex people sleep better, they glow and they have been even been known to send spicy text messages to each other in anticipation of the next chance to jump in the sack.(Ahem!) Good sex begets more good sex and positive feelings towards each other.
So.. what would happen if you took up a 30 days of sex challenge.. your own little secret plan to see what your life would look like with more sizzle?... January first is Sunday- just sayin.
* OK, one down side, if you are doing it like bunnies after a long time of not even thinking of sex you can end up with Honeymoon Cystitis a bladder infection caused by lots-o-sex. Just remember to pee before and after and a little real cranberry juice each morning never hurts!