Elf on the Shelf - Not A Fan

After yesterday's laundry confessional you would think I would have felt my heart pure enough to go on..but it seems I might have one more thing to get off my chest.

I HATE the Elf on the Shelf.    There.. I did it.  Click "unfollow" if you must but I have said it and there is no going back.

There is something about it that skeeves me out. Pushing the idea of a small pixie sitting with a silent but watchful eye all day and then zipping back to the pole at night to report on the good and bad doings of children across the land.

I don't feel comfortable abdicating my parenting to a gumby limbed elf who models himself and life goals on the Watergate years and don't want my kids being "good" for a mythical thing of any sort. So banking "goody-gum drop points" so that Santa will bring them extra  holiday swag really sits wrong with me. What kid should have to go through the month worrying that the extra cookie  they snitched will be their holiday downfall... don't we have enough guilt?

But most of all it's BOGUS - since lets face it.. what if the kid is a total pill the whole month, are you REALLY going to cancel Christmas or give them just a lump of coal. And to flip it around, maybe they really have been bad.. but you have not found out about it ( thinking about a young boy I knew who had been drilling holes in his wall with his pocket knife and then hiding it.. only to one day break down and confess in tearful angst and fear that we would not love him anymore)... so they have now gotten away with it.. the pasty little elf did not rat them out... so why not keep on being bad.. you still get the toys anyway... no thank you, I am not interested in any of those dynamics I have enough drama already by having 3 teens at once!

I know.. it is supposed to be fun... call me a Grinch and be happy loving on your elf and tending to his nightly adventures.. it is just not my thing.

Me and my cold, shriveled up  elf hating* little heart will make cookies instead :)

Luckily I am not alone-

Check out what the Gentle Mom had to say about her dislike of the little dude.

* I also HATE clowns- possibly more than even the elf.  BUT I do enjoy ELF the Movie.. do you still love me?

p.s.  This confession stuff is really wearing me out, tomorrow  - less angst, more glitter!


Emily said...

I think I might agree with you on this I don't do the elf thing either. I find it slightly creepy!

JeniferRiddle said...

We have an elf (not on the shelf) and he doesn't report things to Santa, he just stays with us during Christmas and pulls pranks. It's like April Fool's Day for a month.

Anonymous said...

We have two elves... they don't report to Santa ('cause he understands that kids are kids), but the do get into mischief around the house. Yesterday they covered our un-decorated tree in TP while we were running errands!

Maddie Kertay- The Domestic Anarchist said...

I think that each family finds their sweet spot on the elf issue.. Happy for those who are " with elf" and those without :)

maddie, elfless in Chattanooga

AnnaPK said...

I do like the elf, but I don't hate you. :D Today our elf is in the bathroom so he can watch what a great job they do when they wash their hands. To be honest though I was a little creeped out when I went to the bathroom a little while ago and he was sitting in there with me. :D

Chloe said...

Okay, you and I are definitely friends for life now. I HATE clowns. They disturb me to the bone.

And I also think this Elf on the Shelf is wrong-headed.

I've never been a fan of "wait until your father gets home" or any other sorts of threats that depend on someone else coming and meeting out the punishment. It's cowardly.

I also think this is creepy.

Kelly said...

Love ya even more!!! I too find the Elf creepy; but I hate clowns more. You rock.

M.T. Pocketts said...

Is this Elf on the Shelf one of those (oxymoronic) "new traditions"? It seems so contrived and, yes, creepy! I'd much rather psyche my daughter out in better ways than that! ;)

The Gentle Mom said...

Thanks for the link love.

And, by the way, I DESPISE clowns, too!

Suzanne said...

Thanks to you and the Gentle Mom for the explanation about the "Elf on the Shelf." Clearly he was created by some marketing genius AFTER my kids passed through the Santa stage.

I agree that he is creepy and stalker-ish, but I love the idea of him being a merry prankster throughout the holidays. TP-ing the Christmas tree? Genius! But I expect you could do that with cuddly teddy bear and eliminate the creep factor.

Anonymous said...

I DONT like it...I think is pretty lame from parents to force kids to be "good". Kids had presents in Xmas because they are kids..not because they behave.

I know a 3 yo girl who was terrorized about the doll...She tried to hide it all the time, so the doll can't see Her...can You image how anxious was that little one?... What is the need to torture the child?...They believe that thing is really watching.! :(

Anonymous said...

Absolutely agree 100%!!!! I HATE this thing! How exceptionally stupid is it to make the"elf" destroy things in your home, and then have to clean it up the next day? All of it annoys me. I see people putting up pictures of it on social media and all I want to say is "get a life"

AJ and Dexter's Mom said...

We do love our elf on the shelf. The kids get so excited to see where he'll be in the morning. I can't say there's much of an emphasis on the elf being there for behavioural purposes, rather he's just there for fun. That being said, there's really no difference between believing in the elf or Santa. "He sees you when you're sleeping. He knows when you're awake. He knows if you've been bad or good, so be good for goodness sake." If you perpetrate the Santa ruse already, then there's nothing different or wrong in perpetrating the elf ruse too. Santa knows whether the kids are being good with or without the elf.

Kids not getting gifts because of bad behaviour has nothing to do with the elf.
That dates all the way back to kids getting coal or a bag of rocks for Christmas.

Anyway, we do the Santa thing, and we do the elf thing too. It's fun.