Dear incredibly obnoxious lady at Barnes & Nobel,
Yes you! You who complained loudly and bitterly to the long suffering B&N sales person that you had to buy books for your teen daughter to read over Summer as an obligation for her next school year. You who complained about how much it was going to cost to buy those two trade print paperbacks while you shifted your mall bags from arm to arm to redistribute your "Hot Topic" haul of tube tops and short-shorts.
You who rubbed your brain cells into a frenzy at the idea that your daughter had to read TWO WHOLE BOOKS this Summer and bemoaned that there as no way she would have time. Not only that, you then popped off with your sage and obviously well researched opinion that " boys don't like smart girls" followed by the life qualifier "I don't read ~nothin~ and I have had three husbands - so far" At which point I barked out a spontaneous laugh so loud and so wrong that you looked around, glared at me and my stack of books and magazines, turned on your bedazzled flip-flop and left.
If I could say one thing to you ( I promise I would do it slow and clear) I would say that reading is the sexiest thing a person can do. To load your brain with new ideas, places, characters is the ultimate in brain candy. It makes your conversations sparkle and it makes you interesting. It means that smart well read men will find you attractive and good for more than just a roll in the hay with no call the next day. Being well read is still the best way to better yourself that can actually be free. The library is open to everyone, heck even Barnes and Nobel will let you sit your butt there all day every day and read each and every book they have without paying a dime. Maybe, just maybe with enough good books your daughter will swim against the tide and work her way to the other end of the gene-pool since right now lady you are totally wadding in the shallow end and that is not good for anyone! But that is just my opinion.