Things Not to Ask a New Runner _ Big Girl Runs

Keepin it real folks -post run, no makeup

Today ended week 6 of my quest to run the 5K at Disney in January for my 45th birthday.  Did I mention that I have not worked out in over 23 years?.. or that I am a good 40 pounds overweight, menopausal and have some sort of freaky autoimmune thing?

I KNOW.. what the hell was I thinking? and yet here I am doing it. But honest to pancakes each time I curse and fume and wonder why I made this rash choice since so far I have no " runners high" or "feel good moments".. I have sweat, chafing and calves that burn like liquid lava.. oh yeh and I have the red blotchy face thing as well.. sweet huh?

This shit be hard!.. I know hard.. I gave birth to 6 kids, a couple of them well over 10 pounds.. this sucks more.. really. At least at the end of labor you get a baby, at the end of running I get dry heaves!

But even better than the dry heaves are the questions people have asked me.. actually I have started avoiding talking to all the people I know who are already runners.. non- runners..  I can do their questions.. " does it hurt?" ( yes).. "have you pee'd on yourself yet?" ( no-thank gawd). These are questions I am cool with ( yes even the pee question). The ones that kill me go like this...

"How many miles are you running by now, must be at least 3 or 4" - People let's review, I have been running for 6 weeks after not doing ANY exercise for 23 years, I am 40 pounds overweight.. of course I am not running 3 or 4 miles yet!!!   Your question while I am sure was not meant to make me feel like crap.. it has - enough said. ( For the record I can run about 1/2 to 3/4 of the 2 mile loop but not all at once I still need walking breaks, like 4-5 of them for about 1-3 minutes each)

"You must really be losing weight now that you are running" - uhh no.. in fact I have gained 8 freaking pounds if that is humanly possible. And not I don't want to talk about it.

"Don't you just LOVE IT" - No I don't and if I could mind wipe the whole world  to forget my rash promise I would be enjoying sleeping in.. but instead I am out running at 7 am 3 times a week hating just about every moment of it with the exception of seeing baby bunnies nibbling on grass and that one guy who runs with his shirt off. {sigh}

"It gets better - I promise"  - Could someone give me a time table on the " it gets better thing" since while I can run further each time my legs still hurt like holy hell - that is all.

P.s. Other guy who today told me today that my bra (strap) was showing.. F-U


Robyn of Coffee and Cotton said...

All I have to say is...
You're a better woman than I.
I think you're awesome. I also think you be crazy :-) you know I love you. That guy that pointed out your bra strap... Yeah he can bugger off. Now... About that shirtless dude???

Sharon said...

Maddie, I started running last fall and kept it up through the winter and spring. Haven't experienced the "runner's high" yet. I worked away at my own pace. I have a route that I switch up since there really are boring streets. What motivated me to keep running was the fact that I was doing something active. I work with a lot of marathon runners who started out just like you and I. They too hadn't exercised in years and took the first step. Two of then had the same goal as you by running at Disney for their 40th birthdays. They had a blast! Keep it up. Love reading your updates and quilting. I'm rooting for you!!!

Eileen said...

I think what you're doing is wonderful! I should be out there doing the same thing, but I'm a slug. I'm also 15 years older, with fibromyalgia.
A hint from Army boot camp-running on concrete will make your calves and shins burn more than on a track.

Karen Wierenga said...

Maddie, you're a girl I could run with! Lots of stops - um, slow downs - and lots of watching the scenery. After two spine surgeries, pounding the pavement hurts like H**L and things jiggle that certainly weren't jiggly when I was a lithe 23 year old. Oh, well, guess this is life at 50+. I'll just walk, thank you...and look for a guy with his shirt off. Love the scenery!